Forget Twin Peaks, forget The Prisoner, Philip Martin’s Gangsters is the strangest television show ever made. It defies description, and I should know, I’ve been trying to wrestle it to the ground for weeks now. The problem is the show changes shape every time I watch it. Just when I think I finally have a handle on it, it squirms away. Short of Philip Martin dictating this article from the streets of Lahore, I’m doomed.